I got up at 2:30 AM yesterday, finally got to my hotel in Columbus (after a delay in Denver) around 5 PM, met with 3 senators last night, then gave testimony today at the Ohio Environment and Natural Resources Committee, which is trying to figure out which of two septic bills to adopt. More on this later. About 3 this afternoon, I got in my rental Toyota and headed for what’s called German Village. It’s a gorgeous district in Columbia, with brickwork I couldn’t believe, it’s truly a village within a big city. All the streets, miles and miles of them, are brick. I had a great meal of sausage and sauerkraut and local dark beer et Schmitt’s Restaurant und Sausage Haus (est 1866), then drove around in the rain, listening to A fabulous Leonard Cohen CD, “More Best Of” as a storm blew in. Got a cheap umbrella and shot a lot of photos in the rain, juggling the umbrella in the wind to keep drops off lens.

Sent me by Rick Gordon:

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

• First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10).

• Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).

• Add 5.

• Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator.

• If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759. If you haven’t, add 1758.

• Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are:

• YOUR AGE!

(This will only work in the year 2009.)

This reminded me of a carpenter’s trick someone showed me recently: take a tape measure and bring the end (tip) back around in a loop so it rests at 109″. Now look up the year you were born on the tape measure, i.e. “56” for 1956. Turn the tape over and opposite the 56 will be your age. What is going on here?

Wow! What a beautiful movie (1975). Last week we saw a clip of a Jewish lawyer negotiating with Carol Kane regarding her divorce and it was hysterical, one of the funniest comic bits I’ve ever seen, so we rented the movie, and it’s a masterpiece. Great acting, black and white photography, beautifully-composed shots. It’s got integrity. Independently produced and distributed, it cost $350,000 to make.

I’m flying to Columbus, Ohio Tuesday (May 12) to testify at the Ohio Environment and Natural Resources Committee on a bill (S.B. 100) sponsored by Senator Tim Grendell that seeks to stop Ohio realtors, lobbyists, engineers, and health department regulators from forcing the state’s homeowners into new high-tech, expensive, and most often, unnecessary septic system standards.

I got a call from Senator Grendell’s office two days ago; they had read my March 2008 article in The Mother Earth News on septic systems scams throughout the U.S. (Click here for article.) They had printed 100 copies of the article to distribute to various people. Would I be interested in testifying. Yes!

Briefly: we published The Septic Systems Owner’s Manual some years ago since there was no clear book on septic systems for homeowners. I was fascinated by this method of “on-site wastewater disposal” that used gravity for power (no motors or electricity), and naturally-occurring soil organisms for purification. Talk about something green!

But: “Where there’s muck, there’s brass.”

-Old English saying

There’s big money to be made. Right now, throughout the U.S., homeowners are facing self-serving engineers, regulators, lobbyists, realtors, et al, who have a modus operandi something like this: pathogens are (supposedly) discovered in a creek, river, bay, or ground water and assumed to be from failing septic systems. No effort is made (via DNA testing — now available) to ascertain just which mammals are responsible. Cows, deer, raccoons, birds, humans? Homeowners, entire towns are being faced with draconian regulations and, guess what? Huge costs — in my neck of the woods, $40,000 or so. And ironically, environmental destruction with “mounds” — elevated drainfields.

If you’re a homeowner and this hasn’t happened to you yet, be aware. It’s coming. Be forewarned. See chapter 10 from our book, “Excessive Engineering and Regulatory Overkill” by clicking here (There are 5 full chapters from the book on our website that you can read, free of charge.)

So I’m off to Ohio to present a layman’s, non-academic, homeowner’s perspective on the validity of the gravity-fed septic system. Stay tuned.

The garden at the San Francisco Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm was started years ago by Alan Chadwick, an English gardener who left behind a wonderful legacy of gardeners and gardens (including the farm at UC Santa Cruz). There’s a row of these espaliered apple trees. If you’re a gardener living in the San Francisco area, this is a wonderful garden to visit. I believe they’re open to the public on weekends.