Lawyer Joke

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city’s most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

   The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?”

   The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?”

   Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, “Uh . . . no, I didn’t know that.”

   “Secondly,” says the lawyer, “did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?”

   The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

   “Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?”

   The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, “I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

   The lawyer concludes, “So… if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you?”

From Lew Lewandowski

We published a little book (edited by Michael Rafferty) called Skid Marks: Common Jokes About Lawyers, in 1988. Maybe we’ll get it into eBook form one of these days. It’s wicked.

About Lloyd Kahn

Lloyd Kahn started building his own home in the early '60s and went on to publish books showing homeowners how they could build their own homes with their own hands. He got his start in publishing by working as the shelter editor of the Whole Earth Catalog with Stewart Brand in the late '60s. He has since authored six highly-graphic books on homemade building, all of which are interrelated. The books, "The Shelter Library Of Building Books," include Shelter, Shelter II (1978), Home Work (2004), Builders of the Pacific Coast (2008), Tiny Homes (2012), and Tiny Homes on the Move (2014). Lloyd operates from Northern California studio built of recycled lumber, set in the midst of a vegetable garden, and hooked into the world via five Mac computers. You can check out videos (one with over 450,000 views) on Lloyd by doing a search on YouTube:

2 Responses to Lawyer Joke

  1. Reminds me of a favorite lawyer joke. A doctor, a lawyer, and a priest got shipwrecked and were floating in the ocean amidst a school of sharks. The sharks ate the priest, then they ate the doctor but they left the lawyer alone. Why? Professional courtesy.

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